Ben is 2 1/2

A two and a half year old is constant fun with a little frustration mixed in. Ben is a laugh a minute, but he is also smart enough to know that he is disobeying and that is where the frustration comes in. I feel like I have already mentioned this in a former post, but the saying "this hurts you more than it hurts me" feels so true when having to dispense the discipline. I so want him to get it without having to suffer the punishment, but it just doesn't work that way!

When Ben wakes from a nap, I usually hear "I come find you. Are you waiting for me?" hollered from the hall. It makes me happy.

About once a day Ben asks "I hold Nate in my lap."

When Nate fusses, Ben gets down in his face and asks, "What's wrong, Nate?" If Nate stops fussing and perks up at the presence of his brother Ben will holler at me, "He's ok mom! He not fussing anymore."

I found the boys in the playroom one day with Ben sitting behind Nate saying, "Want me hold you?" Nate does not like being 'held' by big brother because Ben never lets go. They are happy for about a half a second and then Nate screams. I have been trying to tell Ben that Nate's scream means "get off!" but Ben hasn't caught on yet.

When he does something that he isn't quite sure if it is allowed or not he will ask, "Was that funny?" If we say yes then he is in the clear. If we say no, he generally has a time-out because he knew he wasn't supposed to do whatever stunt he just did.

Ben is a sponge! He repeats everything we say - sometimes it's cute (I heard him saying "Oh my lands!") and sometimes it makes us work harder to change what we say (Oh my grosh (gosh)!").

At this age Ben is sleeping 7:45pm - 6:45am every night. He naps 1-3pm (sometimes just plays quietly or loudly in his room) everyday.

He is very helpful. His help usually makes my work take twice as long, but he really does try to help. He puts his laundry in his hamper each day and then brings his and Nate's hampers to the laundry room when I do laundry. He picks out his own unners (underwear) and other clothing most days. He "folds" laundry with me - he gently wads it up like he is folding. He is so meticulous as if he is actually doing what I am doing. He sits on the counter just about every time I am cooking or cleaning in the kitchen. He loves to stir or put in the measured ingredients - and hopes for a lick at the end. And so many other things...

He can sorta count to 10. He usually says "1 2 7 8 9 10." Or if we help him get to 4 then he can do "5 7 6 8 9 10."

He can sorta say his ABC's. He gets the sounds of the song, but misses quite a few letters in there. He also sings "Now I LOVE my ABCs." We don't know where he got that because we don't sing it to him that way.

We don't actually work on these skills formally, just reinforce them when reading books or naturally talk about it during play time. He cannot recognize his numbers or letters yet except for "his" B!

Ben's independence - running!

Nate's independence - crawling!

Nate absolutely loves when Ben plays with him like this. It makes me a little nervous and sometimes ends in a Ben time-out, but mostly it is just giggles.

Here is a sampling of his silliness and skills - he doesn't like to perform. 

9 and 30 Month Stats

Both boys had their check-ups last Wednesday. I had been prepping Ben for exactly what would happen and he was saying the doctor's name and everything. I had high hopes since he wasn't going to be getting a shot. We got into our room and I changed Nate's dirty diaper (why kid? right when we get to the doctor's office?) and then Ben starts saying he needs to potty. The nurse kindly let us use the 'private' door to get out to the restrooms easier. So, off we go, a baby in a diaper, a mama that doesn't like to keep people waiting, and a toddler that is completely distracted by all the new sites. Once we get to the potty Ben is talking about everything he sees, but not going potty! Ugh. Back to the office we go. Then, he starts crying that he needs to poop! Loudly! He's never said that and not needed to go so back to the potty we go. Nothing! Now, I am frustrated and tell him to just get over it because I have figured out he doesn't actually need to go. The nurse takes us to the big boy scale to be measured and weighed (which happens to be right beside the waiting room for all to see) and Ben starts screaming "I need to PPPPOOOOOOOOOPPPP!" It was lovely.

We did get him measured and weighed and he comes in at a healthy 29 pounds (35%) and 35.5 inches (10%).

Nate didn't make near the fuss and weighed in at a healthy 20 pounds 8 ounces (35%) and 28.5 inches (60%). We think Nate is quite the little chunk and were surprised that his weight is only in the 35%. Gracious! I can't imagine him being much bigger for his age.

I did have the doctor look at his gums for signs of teeth. Remember, me proudly blogging that we saw a tooth. We were wrong. It is just a cyst that is harmless and will go away - not a tooth! The doctor said nothing was coming anytime soon. Oh boy!

We continue to struggle with Nate's sleeping. With a clean bill of health from the doctor we are sure that he is just in a bad habit of waking and nothing is actually wrong. That means I am not near as sympathetic when he wakes me up multiple times during the night. We are trying to get him to put himself back to sleep and it is a tough battle to fight - especially with a sleeping toddler just down the hall. It has gotten some better, but we aren't sleeping soundly yet!

Flu season is coming and both boys got their flu shots. Ben didn't even flinch! As I think about all the struggles of raising these two crazy boys thus far, I am so thankful for their health. Neither kid has had any serious illness or even serious cold yet. We have had a runny nose, but no need for antibiotics or any other prescription! That is a blessing. We also haven't had any blood and guts accidents - even with the couch slides Ryan and Ben make! Ben's friend Jackson (just 6 months younger) got stitches last week for the second time in his young life. My greatest fear is having to take one of my boys (Ryan included) to the emergency room. So much to be thankful for even when they publicly scream about poop and wake at night for no apparent reason.

This Day in History

I want to remember that on this day Ben "read" all of Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? to us before going to bed. I must admit it made me a little misty :) 

Happy 9 Months

A lot has happened between 8 and 9 months for Nate. As you have read in my previous posts, his sleep has been terribly disturbed. We are still working towards getting a better night's sleep for everyone, but we are thankful that his naps are normal right now. He is so easy to get down for a nap, but they don't last very long (1-1.5 hours). In the morning, he goes down almost exactly 2 hours after waking up. I learned through trial and error to watch the clock and put him in his crib at 2 hours past his wake up time. If I do that, he goes down without a single fuss. If I forget to watch the clock and it has been 2.5 or 3 hours since he woke up, even though he is happily playing with Ben, he will be so hard to get down for his nap and will usually refuse it all together and be overtired for his afternoon nap. I don't know if there is science involved in that, but that is just the way it seems to work for him.

Roughly, his routine:

7am - wake and nurse

9am - nap

10:30am - 12pm - playtime and maybe 2-4 ounces of fruit

12pm - nurse and table food for lunch with sippy of water

1pm - nap

2:30/3pm - wake and play (Ben naps 1-3pm)

3:30pm - nurse

5:30pm - table food with sippy of water

7pm - bath/nurse/bed

Although not real strict on the timing, lately he has been:

2am(ish) - wake and nurse one side

4:30am (ish) - wake and nurse other side

7am - wake for day

He has also perfected the art of crawling this month. He is not very quick, but he can get where he wants to go. I can easily get to another room and back before he gets halfway to me. He mostly loves to follow his big brother around. Wherever Ben is, Nate is close behind! He has discovered the outlets, cords and outside shoe pile by the back door! Oh the joys of a newly mobile child.

Nate has dramatically changed his solids intake this month. At the beginning of the month he was barely eating baby food. These days, he is eating Ben-sized portions of our meal for lunch and dinner. Because of this he has diversified what he will eat including green veggies. However, he still refuses baby food green veggies. I have given up! He still clamps his mouth shut and will not take another bite no matter what is on the spoon. He will not take any solids for breakfast. Too much fun to be had in the morning to sit and eat. He is working at finger foods, but still fists most of it. He slaps at it to pick it up and then shoves his whole fist in his mouth - all for one little pea or cheerio. He still eats some baby food, but that is mostly used for filler or convenience if we are eating away from home. He never ate baby cereal or the baby food meats (ick!). He just defies the ordinary. 

He can drink from a sippy cup really well if we hold it for him, but just gets himself completely wet if he holds it himself. He can get the spoon to his mouth, but can't keep anything on the spoon yet. 

We are not signing to him as much as I would like. Meal times are a three ring circus with trying to chat with Ben, eat my food and feed Nate. My hands are never free enough to sign. I should work on that because we loved it that Ben signed!

He says "baba" (just a generic sound), "mama" and "dada." We really think that he says "mama" and "dada" in reference to us. If I have been out of his sight for any length of time, he will say "mama" when he sees me again. 

His legs - have I mentioned that they never stop moving? I can't remember mentioning this in a post, but it is definitely something about Nate that I will remember from his baby-hood. His legs move back and forth whether he is sitting, laying or being held. Everyone that holds him comments on it (and he will let anyone hold him!). Now that he is getting bigger (20 pounds according to our scale at home) he is getting tricky to hold onto if you aren't used to it. Without warning, he will start kicking or throw his head backward. It can be very scary if you aren't expecting it. I have definitely had him hit his head while walking through a doorway with him in our house. I am in the habit of holding his head to my body when I walk through doorways, but my hands aren't always free. Just last night he was sitting on the patio with some friends while Ryan and I went to dinner (alone!) and when we got back they showed us the mark he left in the rocks from moving his legs back and forth. Imagine a snow angel with your legs.

We love being outside!

This is how they have been spending their mornings - Ben outside and Nate wishing he could go out. Ben is nice enough to chat with Nate :)

Cuteness!

 Say What?

 Always willing to give a giggle and smile!

Snack time!

Chunky towel boy.

Just last night Nate apparently had an allergic reaction to something at church. His eye started to swell up and was very red. Brief fright! We only live 1/4 mile from church so I was able to take him home, give him a tiny dose of Benadryl and within 30 minutes his eye was back to (almost) normal. Whew!

Glimmer of Hope

We see a white spot! A tooth is coming! Hopefully, this is the reason for all my Nate's troubles. 

Look at the top right - see that little spec? Click on the picture to see it enlarged.

And, Ben has two molars that are both half way through! Maybe that is why he whined all. day. long.

Despite that, the weather is still GORGEOUS and we are loving the chance to be outside! Ben fell off his chair and onto Nate. Why do they have to play so closely to each other when they have the whole yard?

Can their style be any different? Ben was looking quite eccentric in his Wichita State University t-shirt, Kansas City Chiefs football pants and his way-too-small-for-his-big-feet water shoes with socks. Nate was looking very GQ in his button down and ripped jeans.

The best part of Ben's outfit - the monkeys on his "unners" (underwear) peaking through!

The mornings are chilly, but Ben is more than willing to suit up to go out. Nate is content (mostly) to sit and watch and try to sneak some dirt in his mouth that Ben has tracked in.

I found the boys like this today. The city bus had just made a stop and they were watching while enjoying the breeze. So CUTE!

Funny story - Ben was helping me fold laundry today and a certain article of Ryan's clothing had a hole so I asked Ben to throw it in the trash. He did. Later, Ben noticed the holes in Nate's jeans and asked if he should throw them away for me. ha. 

Another funny story - Ben was helping me put away all the laundry and he was trying to walk beside Nate and there wasn't much room. Nate started crying. I asked Ben what happened. He said, "I just hit him in the face with my knee. Just a little bit!" As if that made it ok. It was an accident though. 

F is for...

failure.

I thought at least some of the pressure to be a perfect mom would ease with the second child. I learned a lot with Ben. I learned that no baby abides by the books even though I thought I already knew that. I learned that as soon as I think I have it all together it will inevitably fall apart. I learned that a clean house and dinner on the table at 5:30pm isn't always realistic. Believe it or not, I have learned to chill a little, go with the flow more and not fight against the constant changes. But there is still so much more to learn. The lesson I am learning with Nate - Just because my baby doesn't do what I want/need him to do, I am not a failure as a mother. Oh how I wish I could learn that lesson an easier way.

I recently posted about Nate's sleeping issues and then proudly announced that he was sleeping well again after a few long sleepless weeks. But alas, the good sleep only lasted about three nights and we have been back to 2-3 wakings a night and I am back to the sleep-deprived version on myself. Life with a curious two and a half year old and ministry responsibilities continues on with no regard for my sleep issues.

It is even exhausting trying to smile and tell people that "this too shall pass" or it's just a part of motherhood that we all go through or to pretend that I'm not as bothered by this as I really am. I like to abide by the adage "fake it 'till you make it." If I get up and get myself dressed and ready for the day and pretend that I'm not exhausted, I generally have a better day. When I wake up feeling hung over from little sleep and pull my hair back and forego the make-up, I generally have a more frustrating day. Neither one fixes my ultimate problem though - Nate is waking a lot during the night and the only way that I can get him back to sleep is to nurse him. I have tried to let him cry a little. I have tried rocking him. I have tried patting and shhhing. Only nursing works.

So, the only thing I have left is to feel terribly defeated as a mother. I don't have a clue why my baby isn't sleeping. I don't have a clue how to help him sleep better. I don't have a clue how to not feel like a failure right now.